I'd love for you to join me in Thirty Days of Gratitude! I'm serious! And we're starting today, November 1st. Sorry I didn't think of it earlier, but my mind was literally in "Hibernate" mode during this past week! The entire last week of October was "productionless" for me as far as my personal life was concerned, and it suddenly hit me today that it is November - - - wow - I will sound soooo old for saying this, but WHERE has the time gone??

Several years ago now, while living in Minnesota, I began using the month of November to demonstrate either verbally or in writing my gratitude to those who have touched my life in one way or another. Don't get me wrong, I think we should be grateful every day of every month, but I know for myself that I sometimes need to focus on remembering that "God and others are actually responsible for the achievements in my life." (Friends from Northland Camp and The Wilds - Character quality lists - - - remember that one for "humility"?) In recognizing that fact, I think sometimes it's important to acknowledge it in either verbal or written form - partly for the sake of the one who may be wondering at that moment if what they have done or what they have taught you REALLY mattered.

Before a letter can go out of my office, I make certain that at least one other person proofreads it. In the case of something going out to the entire organization, I have a minimum of two people proofread it or look it over before it is sent. I consider myself fairly competent in the area of grammar and extremely particular in the area of presentation. However, much to my embarrassment, the item sent to others for a "second look" often comes back with many corrections or suggestions written in red.

This afternoon I proofread something for someone and thought, "How could she have let this go? Didn't she see these GLARING errors?" It was at that very moment that I thought about why errors like that occur.

When I write something, I know what I mean to say. My mind thinks through the words, the sentences, the paragraphs, and the page, and my fingers begin to serve as the tool for getting the words from mind to screen (or page, as the case may be.) The problem comes when my fingers get ahead of or fall behind the thoughts making their way out for the public to read. The end result is that things get messed up - words become misspelled, words are dropped from the middles of sentences, and emotions felt in the heart are poorly represented by the end result of the written words.

We ALL make these mistakes at one time or another. It's inevitable. So in reality, the problem is not so much that the mistakes occur, but that we don't see them. Our minds jump over neglected letters and even fill in the missing words. Our emotions are expressed in our minds as we re-read our own thoughts.

Enter the proofreader. And the red pen. And the careful teaching and explanation about the markings as a means of helping the writer not to make the same errors next time. The end result? A carefully-crafted page with words that look like they should and mean what they were written to communicate.

So what's the big deal about proofreading? Well, my lesson from today's "red-pen moments" served to remind me that I need to apply Psalm 19:14 to my writing as well as to my spoken words. The verse states the Psalmist's prayer as he asks the Lord: "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." I do not wish to minimize the holiness of God in any way, but in essence, I was reminded today that God must be my "Proofreader."

How many of us post things on Facebook that we later regret? Our emotions run from ecstatically happy to woefully depressed, and our Facebook or blog postings reflect those extremes. I've been guilty of it far too many times. During those "yipes - - - what-was-I-thinking" moments, I am grateful for the "delete" option. Yet if I would have paused before posting and asked the Lord to let me see my words through HIS eyes, I might have made better choices that could have prevented the use of "delete."

So I guess the way I'm choosing to apply these thoughts are in the following ways:

1. "Let the words of my mouth" - I try to write the way I would speak, but I will strive to be certain that I am speaking in a way that pleases Christ. That means even if something is funny, it is still appropriate, properly-timed, and not unkind or ungodly in nature.

2. "And the meditation of my heart" - My motive needs to be to honor my Lord and Savior. I used to read MANY posts each day talking of God's grace in trials where the emphasis was on the one facing the trial and the comment sections attested to that. I have done it myself. But I desire to leave the reader or listener thinking not of how miserable my sorry little life must be, but of how God's grace is truly "more than enough!" Am I known for my pain or for being a demonstration of His grace?

3. "Be acceptable in Your sight" - In every setting, every thought and every word must make it past His "red pen."

4. "O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." - I can't do this just because I want to. I must daily choose to ask Him to allow the strength He provides to take my thoughts, words, and motives and let them be a channel for His love.

Yes, there will undoubtedly be many red markings on words that I speak and on the words I intend to write - even on Facebook - but I trust that before I ever select "enter," I will run the words past the Master Proofreader.

If you've read my blog very often, you know that you've normally been able to read it - very often! Lately, however, my life has been reminiscent of the childhood game "Upset the Fruit Basket." Hence the title of today's entry. Warning: I have a dear friend who chides me about being "verbose," and I'm afraid I won't disappoint today, for my heart is full, and the page is empty - almost as if asking me to make up for lost time. Read what you wish, skim the paragraphs as you wish, but allow me to share what I've been learning lately.

I like to feel comfortable. Who doesn't, right? But I'm a comfort-seeker of the highest degree. While I love new adventures, and yes, even taking risks, I love even more knowing that it's all going to be okay in the end. I love the adventure as long as I know where it will end and what will be required along the way. As for the risks, I love taking them if I have weighed the possible outcomes, decided they were within my “risk-taking parameters,” and then personally have chosen to take the risk rather than having it thrust upon me. Yes, I know. If those are the “rules,” – well, actually, if there even ARE rules – then I am neither adventurous nor a risk taker. I like to feel comfortable. I want the fruit in the basket to be ripe, shiny, perfectly edible, and picturesque – at all times.

So let’s start with the pear. One of my favorite expressions to use when things change unexpectedly is “it all went pear-shaped.” If you look at a pear, you’ll know what I mean – it’s like the bottom fell out – and things landed in a big heap. At the end of February, my world went pear-shaped. I was just able to see my way through a very real “physical funk” which was the result of my major surgery last fall. I finally wanted to be around people again, and could do more than just function by “compartmentalizing” my days. It was like I finally felt like “Brenda” again – and I was glad! Then on a Friday afternoon, my boss came in and informed me that, due to financial constraints, my job position was being eliminated and being replaced with a part-time position with no benefits. He handled very bad news very graciously and in a godly manner, and for that aspect of it I will always be grateful. From that point on, I think I only heard portions - “You can stay until June 30^th” – “If you find something else, take it whenever they need you” – “Nothing you did” – and the rest sort of all ran together – it was like I was listening to the teacher in the Charlie Brown specials.

Next let’s look at the mango – my favorite fruit EVER! Now in order to incorporate this into my story, I will need to continue with the verbosity for which I am known and loved (ha ha) by telling you why mangos are my favorite fruit – but I will keep my verbosity brief - - - wait, is that an oxymoron?? Oh well - - - In 1993, I went to the Philippines with my parents. We went to a small Bible College in Iloilo City – Doane Baptist College – my father spoke to the students for a special week of chapel services, my mother spoke in special sessions to the female students, and I was privileged to help with a musical group that would be coming to the US that summer. It was there I learned how to choose, cut, and eat mangos! For one of the chapel services, a large choir sang, “Lord, Let Me Serve” – the first I had heard that song. While they were rehearsing, one of the teachers leaned over and told me, “Most of those students will graduate from here and will make $50.00 a month – at the most - serving the Lord in small churches in the hills. So when they sing those words, they mean them.” I think of those dear servants of God every time – honestly, EVERY time I eat a mango!

One day early in March I stood in the grocery store selecting my weekly stash of mangos, and began to cry. Not a boo-hoo cry, but the kind where you find yourself in the middle of Meijer with a tear running down your cheek, and you suddenly want to abandon your grocery cart and head straight for the car so you can cry it all out before the Lord. It was at that moment that the beautiful singing of my Filipino friends rang out in my memory – and caused me to realize that I was in the place of needing to make that song real in MY life – to sing the words and really mean them. Yes, another item for my fruit basket of life lessons.

People are longing to learn of the Savior;

Children are growing not knowing He cares.

Lord, let me tell them about your compassion.

Lord, where can I be used?

Chorus: 

Lord, let me serve; Lord, let me follow.

Give me a place and a purpose to fill.

Teach me to serve; teach me to follow.

Use me to do your will.

Lord, let me serve where ever You need me.

Make me a vessel through which You can flow.

Give me a mission, a place of fulfillment.

Lord, where can I be used?

Ready and willing to give You my talent;

Show me the task and I'll serve You today.

Give me a passion to work for Your glory.

Lord, where can I be used?

Lyrics: Linda Lee Johnson - Music: Tom Fettke

But God doesn’t leave us there. In His infinite, sovereign mercy and wisdom, He knows the end of the adventures we are called upon to take. In ways far above what I could ever ask or think, He has provided a new area of ministry for me in which to serve Him with the talents and abilities He has given to me – for everything, EVERYTHING, I have, is from Him. Starting on June 1^st, I will be privileged to serve on the staff of Brookside Baptist Church as Executive Administrative Assistant to the two senior pastors. As of the writing of this verbose posting (you were warned!!!), I have no housing, am cashing in some retirement to pay for the moving truck, and may end up driving the moving truck myself! In the midst of very dear friends on both sides of the move, I have never felt more “alone” and “uncertain.” But I am reminded of the story that earned strawberries the final role in today’s title.

I’m not sure that I’ve got the facts right, but it goes something like this - George Mueller, known for his faith in the provision of God, once told that he prayed for oatmeal for breakfast each day. God provided. Then Brother Mueller looked around and realized others were eating strawberries with cream for their breakfasts. He was disgruntled until he realized he had not ASKED God for strawberries and cream. Yes, he changed his prayer. Yes, he got strawberries and cream!

When it comes to my future housing and to all things related to the move, I’m reminded tonight to pray for strawberries and cream. I can’t WAIT to see what God does – just because He can!

Well, my friends, if you’ve made it this far, 1) you need to get a hobby! and 2) you’re truly a friend! I guess I’ll close by using a take off of the over-used saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and tell you the lesson I am being reminded of in all of this. Instead of focusing on the fact that my carefully-planned, carefully-arranged, comfortable basket of fruit got “upset,” I am choosing to rejoice as God creates this amazing fruit salad which allows me to “taste and see that the Lord is GOOD!”